What do you do when you have nothing and no one to live for?

By DoTheRightThing on Wed, 02-22-12, 00:58

Posted in Group:

I have lost everyone who means anything to me, I constantly feel alone. I am paralyzed with regret,grief, guilt, shame,fear,and loneliness. I have been in my bed for the past 3 weeks, if it were not for the internet people would think i had died. I spend most of my time reading about death and suicide. My issues are not trivial or things that could be corrected such as fiances. No offense to people who feel bad over money and arguments,but those things can easily be solved with a phone call of a job.

Research shows major events in life can break you if you experience 3 or more in a short period of time. I have experienced them all in less than a 4 month time frame and I cant get past it.
Most people will never experience the pain I have so they cannot relate and I honestly would not want them to, the pain is so great.

When you lose your relationship- a man who loves you
Your family (mom,dad,sister hate you)
Your career
Your dogs
All of your possessions
Your self esteem
Your baby daughter dies
Your father dies
Your god mother dies
Your home
Your car
Your friends
and now living in a brand new state trying to get accustom to living in hell.

And to know you played a role in everything is beyond heart breaking.
I have exchanged a very successful career,family,and life with sadness, loneliness and a desperate longing for my family.

I just have no clue what to do, I sit and pray to die daily, i ask god to forgive me for my sins and error and to take my life. The ONLY reason I am alive,is simply because I am afraid of hell. And for those who dont believe in hell, they cant help me out of it if it is true or not.

You are left feeling abandoned and with no hope.
Many if not MOST people live for their kids or family or parents...I dont have that, I wish I were dead so I can be with my daughter. I just dont care about anything, because nothing really matters besides life and death...EVERYTHING else can be resolved.
I sometimes push forward by telling myself, stick around so you can help people, yes I want to help people however I am miserable. Only relief I have is sleepp

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By stillme on Wed, 02-22-12, 10:13

Hi.. let me start out by saying im glad you are here! *hugs to you..

My first question is... have you thought about seeing a counselor/doctor for your depression? Stress causes chemical changes within our brain and they can really help with that part of it! As for the rest... im so sorry to hear about all your loss. You are not alone...

I myself have suffered many losses, including two husbands and many family members. Right now i am taking care of a brother that does not have much longer to live and will be going through the loss of a loved one again soon.

The first step to getting my life back after my second husband passed, was to forgive myself. i had much guilt (although unfounded) and felt i had let him down... that there had to have been more i could have done. Reality is - there was not.

You and only you are responsible for your life my friend... and you have choices even though it may not feel like it today... reach out to others, get help for yourself!

YOU DESERVE TO LIVE A HEALTHY AND HAPPY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!

i pray you find peace within and please dont hesitate to contact me should you want to talk....

Dont give up before the miracle happens!

Tawnye

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By DoTheRightThing on Wed, 02-22-12, 23:38

Yes of course I have seen counselors , doctors,churches,chapels,.....it works some days, it works while im there and perhaps for days after. Its times like these were it doesnt work. The frustration of anger takes a negative turn.
Thank you for writing

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